too much to handle

so this whole alcohol thing? why is it such a big deal! i dont understand. To be honest, everyone does it and i think that everyone should do it so that they know what the whole thing is about. However, when it gets to the point where you are a 56 year old woman and you are puking your brains out because you have drunken 3 bottles of wine with your best friend after her 3 husband, and your 17 year old daughter is cleaning up your mess! there is something wrong with that!

It is the time in my life where i should be drinking and you should be catching me sneacking out, or me coming home with blood shot eyes and my breath smelling like i have been taking shots for the last three hours. The thing that i cant stand is that no one else seems to have a problem with it but me! do they not think there is anything wrong with it or do they just choose not to act on it becaue she is supposed to be the adult figure in the family.

i think if a mother wants to drink to the extent where she gets that drunk she should not do it anywhere around her daughters. For one, what the hell kind of unfluince is that…i mean its not like i am ever going to become like her and smoke and drink like that all my life…but then again….it doesnt even matter what kind of person i turn out to be becuase i have to deal with the person you are now.

truely american?

to all of you who are reading this blog…i would just like to say hello… my life has recently just started over with a move to california from overseas. I have been living in europe for the last 6 years of my life and then i lived in asia for 2 years prior to that. Coming back to america has scared the crap out of me.  My whole life people have been telling me that i have gained so much from living all over the world, but the truth is i have learned so much about myself and the world in the last two months by living in america. However, to many of you it is not in the way you would think. Coming to america, i met met many wonderful people, many of which being my family and close friends i have regained contact with since i had lived in california when i was little. Although many other people that i have recently met have shown me what the real world is truely like. I have been asked the most idiotic question while living here. “So, since you lived in England, was it hard for you to live in a country where they spoke french?” o.k. so what the hell! Its not even a stupid mistake it was a totally honest question. i am trying really hard not to stereotype all american, but it is very hard for me not to do that when i get these kind of question all the time. I am in high school and i can understand everyones patriotism…HOWEVER…there is a vast difference between being proud of your country and sending your relatives and friends to fight in a war that shouldnt have even started in the first place. I am proud to be an american, but it is so hard for me to see these people with their american flags and their support the troops bumper stickers acting as if america is the only country in the world worth fighting for. If america stays on the path that it is on now…we are going to be right back to being the most racist and discriminatory country in the world…. our history with the civil war shows that, for some reason, americans have a tendacy to think they are a superior elitist society compared to the rest of the world and other races. I dont think world peace is possible, i dont think that complete acceptance is possible either. However, i just want people to know what is out there. America is not the only country in the world! i am proud to be not only an american but a citizen of the world!!! we all are connected… location shouldnt make a damn bit of difference between anyone. so what if you have a different hair color or skin color or eye color, or if you are christian, cathlic, jewish, muslim, buddhist, or any other religion.  we are all going to have to understand that and just deal with it!

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